I'm sorry... I didn't plan to!

It's a good thing I neither went into journalism, nor have any plans of doing so. I think journalism, or at least the kind of journalism I'm talking about, involves a certain amount of objectivity or detachment from the facts of whatever you might be reporting. I don't have that.

There is no doubt the possibility that I might develop such an attitude in the future, but as of now, I don't see that happening. These days, I tend to get a little too worked up about most things that I read about in the papers.

I read this article earlier this week, and all I could think was, "momentary lapse"?!? Bull. Even if it was, the girl was eight years old people!!! How can you forget the utter brutality of what she underwent simply because it wasn't planned?!? Oh, and the fact that the so-and-so didn't kill her, but simply left her to bleed to death really does let him off the hook, doesn't it? And of course it doesn't fall under the category of "rarest of rare" cases, because child sexual abuse is so bloody common in this country.

Someone I know is of the opinion that Santosh Singh was given the death penalty solely because of the public opinion surrounding the case. I'm beginning to believe he's right. Do we really need to create public outrage every single time we want to see justice? Is creating a brouhaha the only way we can get justice?

I was a much happier person before I started reading the newspapers.

Dire straits

About a year ago, during a rather innocuous conversation, a friend of mine happened to mention ot me that according to Vaastu Shastra or Feng Shui or one of those things, how organized your home is supposedly signifies how clear you are in your thoughts. That day, on returning home, I went to my room and took a good look around. Sure enough, a horrible mess met my eyes.

Now, I might not believe in any of those schools of thought, but this particular line of thought made sense to me. My thoughts have been in a complete clutter for the past two years or so now, and my room, well, when has that not been a mess?!? That, my dear and not-so-dear readers, is why the train of thought in most of my entries rarely seems to follow any logical path.

The bottomline is, while my room occasionally does undergo a thorough spring-cleaning session, the clutter my thoughts have been in for the last two years has reached a point where I don't seem to be able to sort them out even if I tried. Moreover, this feeling has intensified in the recent past. I feel pulled in different directions all the time in pretty much every aspect of my life these days. There are innumerable options, demands, suggestions, commands, and roads that seem to magically appear before me without me evincing the slightest bit of desire for any of it. I sometimes feel like a captured octopus who has eight different idiots pulling at each of its legs - not a very pleasnt image to bring to mind, I agree. The desparation for answers seems to be just increasing at times.

I think I would be in a better state - at least mentally, if nothing else - if I had some degree of faith in yoga, or art of living, or reiki, or something. Unfortunately, I don't. And that means that I am quite likely to finally give in to my long-cherished desire of throwing a crystal vase at the wall and smashing it to smithereens very soon.

People are scum

One of the few newspapers I actally still have some degree of respect for is the weekly Tehelka. Yet, reading it week after week fills me with a sense of despair about our country. What is wrong with us? There appears to be corruption, injustice, poverty, abuse, and whatnot is practically every aspect of our society. Someone do something!!!

Read these articles:

DALITS, LIKE FLIES TO FEUDAL LORDS
JUSTICE FOR ALL, FOLKS
Dalits go on rampage in Nagpur over caste killings
Dalit killings: Curfew in Maha town
For more articles...

I defy any of you to claim you didn't shudder in revulsion while reading the first article.

Yes, I'm a feminist. So people reading this will probably start again about how I always get riled about these issues. But come on, being horrified about this incident can't be just for that reason. What kind of inhuman savages carry out such atrocities?

The last time I wrote about women being abused by men, I was rather startled by some of the comments I received wherein some men felt that you can't blame men for reacting if women dress in a certain way (not that I've seen all those many women dress in mini-skirts on the roads of Delhi - known as the rape capital - but I'm sure that's due to my selective blindeness). What's their excuse now? Why were these two women tortured, raped, and killed in such a brutal manner? What's the justification for the two sons of Surekha Bhotmange being beaten up, killed, and mutilated?

It's been more than a month since this incident, yet no action has been taken till this past week. It's only now that after Dalit youths turned violent while protesting against the murders that some degree of action has been taken. The Maharashtra givernment has finally ordered a CID enquiry, and the case will apparently be tried in a fast-track court. Whether that actually happens remains to be seen, but I do wish some protest marches could happen about cases that don't just affect people in the Metros.

Take a look around...

Just so often, there comes along a genuinely sweet incident or book or essay or something that makes me believe for about half a day that yes, true love does exist in this world after all.

The latest such thing to catch my fancy isn't even about romantic love though. It's just about... love. The words might be clichéd as hell, but they make sense don't they?

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around. "

~ Hugh Grant in the opening scene of Love Actually

No wonder I like airports!

We keep looking for that funny feeling called love, or what we think is happiness, when most of the time, it's right there before us. All we really need to do it is reach out and grasp it, which sadly, doesn't work out too often.

Now, if only I acted on all that I talk about. Life would be so much simpler.

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As some of you may know, my brother's the editor of his school magazine. And the kid has just got their second web magazine up and running. So go take a look at it if you want! And email all comments to drishtidpsvk@gmail.com!

Happy Diwali!

May the festive season bring lots of happiness to you and your family! :)

What they will never know...

There's a lot non-animal lovers will never understand or know.

Non-animal lovers will never understand just what a pet means to us animal lovers. They will never understand that to us, bringing home a pet is the same as bringing home a babe in arms; to us, getting a pet is the same as adopting a child.

They will never understand that our pets are family to us, that they are considered in every important family decision that is taken. They will never understand that no matter how much we crib about having to take care of our pet, we miss all those little duties terribly the second we no longer have to do them. They will never understand that no matter how beautiful an outing or a holiday has been, at the back of our mind is the constant thought and worry about how our pet must be coping. They will never know the misery we feel when we look into the mournful eyes of our pet as soon as he/she realises we are going off somewhere without him/her.

They will never know the warmth we feel when our dog stands to greet us at the front door, having sensed our arrival as soon as we entered the lane, wagging his/her tail in joy at seeing us again. They will never know the peace that can be experienced simply by sitting on the floor, with a hand on your pet who is sprawled next to you. They will never know the calm that can settle in you when your pet senses your inner turmoil and comes to nudge you with his/her nose.

They will never know the sheer joy of rolling in the grass with your dog like a little child. They will never know how soothing it is to just pet your dog, and of course, how exasperating it is when you want to remove your hand, and he/she looks at you like you've committed some cardinal sin.

They will also never know the utter trauma of knowing your dog is suffering, and that you are helpless to do anything about it. They will never know the complete wretchedness of having to take a decision that will end his/her suffering, but also his/her life. And luckily for them, they will never know the grief we go through when we lose our beloved pet.

There's a lot they will never know.

Just a note to say...

This always happens. I have periods of extreme verbosity, and I churn out entry after entry. Then just when I start feeling smug about how regular I've become, I go and hit a period of writer's block.

So as usual, I've started about half a dozen entries in the last couple of weeks, none of which have seen the light of day yet, and most of which probably won't.

Therefore, solely to amuse myself, I decided to spruce things up a little around here. So if you're new here, you might... er... need to highlight some of the earlier entries so you can read them - the colours didn't quite come out right. And who knows, maybe there'll even be an entry before vacation ends!

Help!

I am very curious about a certain phenomenon that seems to have started these days. Apparently, when someone has an accident, or turns out to have some kind of serious illness, either an email service or a mobile network service comes forward and offers to give a certain amount of money every time a message about the individual concerned is forwarded. Now, here's my question: how does the mobile/email service in question know when the message is forwarded? Do they encrypt some kind of tracking code into the message (I wouldn't know if that's the correct terminology; I'm rather ignorant about these things)? Or they do have access to all our inboxes, and therefore know just how often we send/receive these messages (and therefore being a complete violation of privacy)?

Now, if it is one of these things, wouldn't it just be simpler to directly and openly hand over a huge some of money to the individual in need? At least, that way, they'd get a great deal of publicity. Oh, and they could even throw a huge bash and get their photos on Page 3 in the process!!!

Did I hear someone call me a cynic? Guilty as charged. I don't believe in altruism. At least, not when there's nothing in it for you in return. And definitely not for utter strangers. Sure, I help my friends and family if they need me to, because for some odd reason, I care about the bunch of them. I also help random classmates and colleagues, but if I was to examine my motives, it would probably be in the hope that when I need help from them, I'll get it (plus there's the fact that I'm not too good at saying no). And as far as strangers are concerned I don't think I've helped out more than one or two in my life!

So here's what I'm curious about (no, it wasn't the question at the beginning): what makes all these people so gullible to believe these forwards, and thereafter so willing and eager to send them on? They don't know these individuals, yet they will continue to send forward after forward to "help" them.

I mean, come on, I've been using the World Wide Web for seven to eight years now, and that girl Rachel who supposedly has cancer has been the same freaking age ever since! Sure, even I got taken in initially... Oui, even I have been nice enough to send out that mail a few times, but then you see, after a year or so, I wisened up. So why don't these people?

To quote a wise woman, "People are stupid".

Where have all the smiles gone?

If you don't like something, change it, If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.

- Maya Angelou

Rather ironic words coming from me, I know.

I visited Mumbai a while back and I was amazed at how helpful the people there are. There were individuals who actually went out of their way to give us directions or any other assistance that we needed at the time. Now to someone who has lived in the NCR for more than a decade, such attitudes came as a rather pleasant surprise. Yet, through it all, I noticed one thing: no one smiles in Mumbai. People are undoubtedly helpful there, but their expressions are constantly bland, if not outrightly grim.

Since coming back, however, I've realised this isn't just a phenomenon specific just to Mumbai. On my way to university in the mornings, I look around and I see nothing but grim or worried or stressed faces. Everyone on the road seems to have a furrowed brow. No one smiles any more!

Yes, we enjoy the occasional laugh with friends or family. By and large, however, we crib and we complain. We complain about anything and everything that we possibly can. I do it myself - I gripe about deadlines, class schedules from hell, chores to carry out, inconsiderate or annoying people, lechers on the road, hair loss, you name it. Everyone I know has something or the other to crib about. Maya Angelou's words of wisdom obviously have very little place in our lives today.

When did this happen? When did we start complaining about every little thing in life? When did we stop being grateful for what we have? When did we forget to appreciate the small pleasures in life? When did we forget how to smile?

The willing violation of privacy

It is a very "in" thing these days to be a member of as many online communities as possible. You join, fill up a profile about yourself, put up as many photos of yourself, and add everyone you know who's also a member of that website as your "friend". So within about a week of joining, the whole world knows you some 60-odd friends. The interesting thing about these websites is that people you had completely lost touch with suddenly reappear in your life and add you as their friends. So it's all very exciting and lots of messages going back and forth about how looooooooooooooooong it's been and how grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat it is to hear from you again and what is up with you these days and blah, blah, blah!!! After about four-five such messages, silence re-emerges, and you simply occasionally visit each other's profile, and pat yourselves on the back about how many people you're in touch with.

I have never seen the point of these websites. Yes, they occasionally lead to a real reconnection between long-lost friends, and yes they can be fun at times (and very amusing at others for some!!!), but for the most part, it seems to be a kind of security blanket (in a friend's words - copyrights must be respected) to say that you know what a 101 people are doing. I know what most of former classmates are doing today thanks to these websites, but I wouldn't say I'm in touch with any of them. Knowing where a person is does not amount to keeping in touch in my book.
The latest craze is a website called Orkut. This has gone one step forward. It has the concept of "scrapbooks" wherein you can leave messages for people in a way that the whole world can read them. Now, maybe I'm a neurotically private person, who doesn't really like the whole world to know what I'm upto, but I honestly do find the whole concept of scraps quite absurd.

I was talking to a friend on the phone the other night. Now he happens to be someone who is a hardcore fan of these websites. He mentioned how he met an school friend some days back, someone who he hasn't spoken to in years, yet someone who knows every detail of what's going on in his life and vice versa, simply because they've been reading up each other's scraps. I tried pointing out that such a thing isn't exactly something to be kicked about, but he thinks it's quite cool for whatever reason. Well, gee I'm sorry, but I don't get it.

How is it cool to have someone who you haven't spoken to in years know every little detail about your life?!? Some former schoolmates of mine added me as their "friends" on Orkut; I accepted out of politeness. These people are now scrapping me asking me about what's going on in my life, as well as sending me Friendship Day scraps. The best part about this? Not once in our eight years of being in the same school did we ever exchange words. I'm sorry, but I don't get it.

Something happened to me a couple of months back that was probably the best news I had received in a long, long time. Not wanting the whole freaking world to know about it, I emailed four-five people about it because I felt they deserved to know. Two replied very nicely, while the other two simply scrapped me back. I'm sorry, but I don't get it.

I don't get how you can let the whole world know what's happening in your life. I don't get how you can let everyone read your conversations with anyone. I don't get how you can scrap someone who has emailed you about something quite personal. I do realise that not everyone likes to keep things as private as I do, and I respect that. But this latest fad seems to be encouraging a complete lack of privacy for anyone and everyone, and I'm sorry, but I don't get how that can be considered so highly wonderful.