On a show I really wanted to like, but couldn't

For a while now, I've been wanting to watch more Indian TV, but it felt like everything that was being recommended to be was too gory for my tastes. I mean, I'm just never going to watch Mirzapur, y'all. Even if it has both Ali Fazal* and Vikrant Massey**. 

But I did watch Made in Heaven last year, and thought it was fantastic. And then after being beaten over the head about Family Man, especially after the new season dropped, I decided to give it a go.

I really liked the first season, even though I thought it could have done more to be a little more balanced in how the grievances of a community can lead to certain decisions. But it was well written, well acted, gripping, and ended on a cliffhanger that meant I had to keep going into Season 2.

And boy, was I irritated by Season 2. So here, for your reading pleasure (all three of you) is everything I didn't like, plus some stuff I did.

{{Mandatory spoiler alert for those who haven't watched the show yet, and intend to at some point}}

Let's start with the good stuff, actually.

• The aerial shots of Delhi! Absolutely gorgeous. Almost all the shots throughout the show were gorgeous in general, but obvs my heart lies with Delhi the mostest. There were two in particular - one of all of Connaught Place, and another of the buildings around Raj Path - that if anyone can get hold of for me, I will be eternally grateful.
• Dhriti and Atharv. Specifically, the actors who played those two. Pitch perfect, and so very delightful. Every scene with them, especially Atharv, was just a joy to watch.
• JK. I started out disliking him right off the bat, because if you're a guy who tries to flirt with the new recruit on her first day because she's female, you get a huge black mark in my book. However, his character arc was probably one of the best on the show.
• The most randomly delightful*** thing about Season 2, however, had to be Sambit's relationship with tea. The scene where he's pouring tea for everyone and it runs out by the time he's able to pour for himself, the scene where he pours it and then has to take a call, and then ruins it by soaking his Parle G for too long, and the scene where he turns down the offer of tea altogether because he's so stressed. *chef's kiss*

But then.

I went into the show knowing the two things that a lot of people were upset about. And both of them were a doozy.

• When you've studied psychology, and half your closest friends work in mental health, you can't not find the therapist they showed to be utterly terrible. For a show that depicted Suchi to be a psychology professional, who worked on an app for mental health, you'd think they would have at least bothered to get the actual showcasing of therapy to be a little better.
• And then there was the brownface. Look, I can be superficial in my media consumption. I don't always get upset by things like brownface. I should, but I don't. But this time. It wasn't just that they did it, when they didn't need to, it was also that they did so obviously and badly. Every frikkin' scene with Raji had her skin practically shining because the makeup was so very over the top. 
• And I have to admit, I also found Raji's character pretty annoying. How much of that was caused by the colouring, versus the other way around, I'm not sure. But it was like they couldn't decide if her facial expressions were supposed to be constantly worried and nervous, or steel-faced and resolved. Her expressions kept flip-flopping between the two, often in the same scene, and ended up distracting me way too much. 

Sundry other thoughts:

• Why, oh why, is there a rule that there can be only one competent woman per season of a show? Zoya was one the best parts of the first season, because it was quite refreshing to see a woman come into a job and just get the job done. Also I was coming close to shipping her and Milind. But then she's gone from Season 2 (and eventually so was Milind, which was just gutting), and while Umayal was just as delightful, it's just so frustrating to watch shows do this all the time.
• I have to admit, I came close to shipping Raji and Shahid a bit. Very Romeo and Juliet, that relationship seemed.
• Do rebels make a lot of money somehow? Those homes in London and Normandy were fan-CY.
• It was very unclear for most of the show, to me at least, what exactly Sri's family knew about his job. By the end, it seemed like Suchi did know the truth, but that made her reactions even more bizarre. Yes, you can be upset about how much time he gives to the job, and how it takes away from family life, but not once in the entire show did she seem to express any concern or curiosity about his safety. He constantly made reference to paperwork, even when he was travelling to other cities, but she clearly seemed to know more towards the end, and it was just all very disorienting.
• Also, Sri was just an ass in the second season. Yes, I get that Indian men must never express feelings or show emotions or talk to therapists about their private life, and all that jazz. I didn't have a problem with any of that being depicted, I got the character. But the man's daughter was kidnapped, almost killed, and covered in blood. He hands her off to a co-worker to go after a terrorist - said coworker, by the way, was right next to him in the next scene, so who on earth took Dhriti to the hospital I don't know - and was far more concerned about the terrorist's death impacting the mission than what he had tried to do to this daughter. Maybe I'm just not patriotic enough, but that's just a level of assholery I can't deal with. The man showed more concern and actually asked more questions about JK's condition than he did about his daughter.
• And finally, I'm sure this show was very realistic and all. In which case, maybe our country needs to invest in some bulletproof outfits for its investigative agencies? It kind of seemed like these people landed in shootouts fairly routinely; some sort of protective gear might help? Just a thought.

I think the reason I'm irritated enough to type out a whole post about this show is that it had so much potential. The cast was mostly excellent, the storylines were gripping, and the writing was close to being really, really good. But I got too irritated by the little things, which ended up adding up to getting in the way of a lot of the positives.

*who apparently doesn't show up in the search results if you search for "mirzapur cast"?

**who was conspicuously missing from the season 2 trailers I saw, which led to text a friend asking - "look I'm never going to watch this show, tell me if he's gone." Her non-answer was answer enough.

*** delight/delightful is my word of the day, apparently.

On my ongoing binge watch of Suits

I restarted watching Suits. I had seen the first 5.5 seasons (or should that be 4.5 seasons? I had stopped after the Season 5 mid-season finale), but stopped for some reason after that. It was a show I used to love, and I had added it to my Amazon watchlist quite a while back. So a few weeks ago, with nothing else to do (well, with lots to do, but I may have been trying to procrastinate), I dove back into the show. I've been doing a couple of episodes a day, and I did take a break to binge watch the new season of Veronica Mars (#stillbitter), so I'm almost done with season 7 at this point - just three episodes left. And the same thoughts keep running through my head as I watch.

In the years since I last watched the show, Meghan Markle got married to Prince Harry. And it is just weird to watch her on that show now. I don't know why it is, but it is. I know she leaves at the end of this season, but for now, there's just constantly a sense of "huh" as I watch her.

Also, how do the female characters on the show get through their day dressed the way they dress? I mean, they all look gorgeous, and professional at the same time. But having now worked for several years in workplaces that have gone the "dress for your day" way, I would want to punch someone if I had to wear pencil skirts and heels every single day, for what seem to be twelve hour days. The only woman on that show who seems even remotely comfortably dressed is Paula, Harvey's therapist-turned-girlfriend, although I suspect she's about to disappear from the show (and I am not upset about that. We all know what the endgame of this show is, right? RIGHT?). Anyway, my world view of professional wardrobes is already very skewed thanks to the last several years, but I should note that I dressed relatively formally today due to annoying 9 am meeting so I'm not in my usual uniform of jeans, a Ann Taylor or Loft sleeveless top, and a cardigan. But I'm in the most comfortable formal dress I could find at Ann Taylor, and I will not end today by wanting to kill anyone. Well, I might, but it won't be because I was physically uncomfortable all day.

(I should also note that I am currently watching the live stream of Robert Mueller's testimony to Congress, and how sad is it that even the photographers there have to be in a suit and tie. I would not survive in the world of politics. Or consulting. Or law, apparently.)

And lastly, I don't know if I just forgot this about Suits, or the show has evolved in seasons 5 to 7, but man, are these characters flakes or what?!

"I quit!" "Okay I don't!"
"I need you to leave this firm!" "No, please stay!"
"I want to work at a clinic!" "No I want to work at the firm!"
"Let's get married tomorrow!" "Let's wait to plan the wedding we've dreamed of!" "We don't have time to get married!"

MAKE UP YOUR MINDS, PEOPLE. AND STICK TO IT.

Have they ever taken a decision that they didn't change their minds about five minutes later? I get whiplash from every single episode I watch on much back and forth they do. They really are the flakiest characters I have ever seen. Makes me feel much better about my constant waffling over things.

Good show, though. I need to figure out how to watch the new season once I'm done with my catching up.

On hating to love a show

Some five odd years ago, I asked Twitter, that fount of all wisdom, whether I should read the Game of Thrones books, or start watching the show. The show was in its first or second season, and the general consensus at the time was that I should read the books, and so I did.

I often say I have a love-hate relationship with the books. There is SO MUCH that annoys me tremendously about them. There is a ridiculous amount of seemingly unnecessary violence, which is not something I tend to enjoy in literature. There is misogyny and mistreatment of women on practically every page, and anyone who tries to bring up the old argument about how "that's how medieval times were" can just stop now - if the kind of language and curses expressed by people can be updated to reflect the 21st century, so can other things.

And yet, I plodded through all five books, even if the cast of characters had grown so much that I was constantly flipping to the glossary at the end to try and remember who's who. But I plodded through them, whimpering at various stages thanks to GRRM's insistence on killing off practically any character I started growing even slightly fond off. I plodded through, mainly because, dammit, you want to know what happens.

When I finished the fifth book, the next book was expected to release that fall. But it kept getting pushed, and pushed, and pushed, till I'm very sure it's never coming out at all. And meanwhile the show kept going.

I never wanted to watch the show, even though everyone said it was SO GREAT. I can barely read violent stuff in books, why on earth would I want to watch them depicted on the screen? And since this is a show that is talked about pretty constantly, I've pretty much known what the show is doing even without watching. And reading about things the show changed from the books, which more often than not sounded like they had just made things more unnecessarily cruel, did not make me want to watch the show.

But then in the last couple of years, the show has clearly overtaken the books. And while I still held out, thinking maybe the next to books would come out eventually, that just seems stupid at this point. So in the last few weeks, I've been talking to friends who do watch the show, and asking which season I should start from.

Almost without fail, the answer has been, well, why wouldn't you start from the beginning? Because, well, I don't want to. I'm already going to be doing this very grudgingly, my interest in watching TV has gone down dramatically in recent months (which is a topic for another day), there is already SO MUCH TV that one must apparently watch, and I only really wanted to start watching from where the show really starts diverging from the books, and then keep going. And based on that, the consensus seemed to be that Season 4 would be a good starting point, and I figured I'll plan on that.

But then.

I was travelling for work last week, and needed to go through a gazillion decks to prepare for a call the next morning. I was flipping through channels on the television to have something play in the background, and the most recent episode was playing as I came to HBO. And for some reason, I let it stay on that channel.

By the end of that hour, I knew I was going to have to start my binge watch sooner rather than later.

And then.

Last night, I happened to go online soon after the latest episode must have played. And twitter had clearly watched, and gone berserk. So I decided to watch the episode.

And.

I spent the next hour gasping practically every five minutes. And now I can't decide if I just start my binge watch tonight and keep going till I'm up to date, or if I just watch this season as it happens and then do my binge watch, or do a combination of both, or WHAT.

Dammit.

2 AM ramblings

I am having one of my periodic nights of insomnia, so bear with my ramblings, 'kay?

When I was in school (like, school school, not college school, or grad school school), exam time meant my shoulder would hurt. Without fail. And this continued through college and grad school. Pain in my shoulder then started popping up anytime I had an admissions or job interview. And once I started working, whenever the job got particularly stressful. Often times, the pain would start before I even consciously realised I was stressed.

Over the years, this pain has faithfully waited in the shadows, turning up whenever I've been stressed about something, usually job-related, and very often before I even realise I'm stressing. There will be things going on, and I will think I'm dealing with them just fine, and suddenly I'll feel a sharp stabbing pain in either my shoulder or my elbow that'll make me think, huh, maybe I'm not dealing with it so well after all.

There is a part of me that sometimes wonders if my first job has set me up for disappointment in anything I do for the rest of my life.

There were a lot of problems with my first job - learning to work with somewhat eccentric people, extremely annoying coworkers who, well, annoyed me, no career growth prospects (because where do you go in a 15 person company?). But I loved what I did. I was passionate about it. And I was bloody good at it. And my bosses put more value in the "depth" a person had, more than anything else. And they were incredibly, incredibly supportive of my plans for myself.

They pushed me to start planning to go for my MBA, rather than just dreaming about it. They gave me the time off I needed, the support and experience I needed, and resources I needed. They prodded at me till I got to the next phase of my life, irrespective of what that meant for the firm.

And I think that's what spoiled me. In future phases of my life, I've seen less and less emphasis on depth, and more on showmanship. I see less of helping each other progress, and more of how does this benefit me.

And I think that's why I've been feeling sharp jabs of pain in my elbow when starting the drive to work for the past several weeks.

I once asked them what they meant by depth. And I left that conversation feeling like I didn't understand what they meant any more than I had at the beginning of that conversation. But in the years since, I think I've come to understand what they meant.

I don't think they ever watched The West Wing, but I think they'd agree with Sam Seaborn here.

AINSLEY: [turning to look at him] Does it concern you that the smartest Presidents have been the worst?
SAM: I don't grant your premise, but...
AINSLEY: John Quincy Adams was so full of himself, he could hardly build a coalition around having eggs for breakfast. How many grand theories of international relations did Wilson come up with that were dead on the arrival in Congress?
SAM: I don't care.
AINSLEY: Why?
SAM: Because before I look for anything, I look for a mind at work. Nobody's saying the President needs to have a tenured chair in semiotics, but you have to have...
AINSLEY: What?
SAM: Gravitas.
AINSLEY: [leaning forward] And how do you measure that?
SAM: You don't, but we know it when we see it, and Republicans tend to mock it when they do. You think I'm wrong?
AINSLEY: I do not.
SAM: No you don't, and the way I know you don't is I saw you say so on television. 

Thoughts on Neerja, and a gazillion other things

I've liked Sonam Kapoor since her first appearance on Koffee with Karan; that episode, incidentally, is also when I started warming up to Deepika Padukone. I've continued liking what Sonam Kapoor has been up to in the years since. Don't get me wrong - I don't think she can act. I was horrified when I heard she might be playing the lead role in the movie adaptation of one of Anuja Chauhan's books, although on further thinking about, she'll probably do justice to the sheer silliness Chauhan's heroines tend to display.

But I like her because, among other things, she refuses to let her inability to act well limit her options. She continues to do the kind of movies I want to go and see. It's a different matter that I don't see most of them, because I'm very lame when it comes to movie watching, but that's not the point. She does movies that, on the whole, have female characters and story lines I feel I can approve of. Most of the time. Prem Ratan Dhan Payo notwithstanding.

I read an article a year or so ago comparing her with Sonakshi Sinha. The latter did Lootera early in her career, and was lauded for her acting ability, but seems to be quite content being the eye candy in Akshay Kumar or Ajay Devgan movies ever since. And then there's Sonam, who insists on playing characters with agency, even if she can't play them that well. And even if she has to produce them herself to get them made.

What's not to admire about that?

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Which brings me to her latest movie - Neerja. As is happening with most Hindi movies and me these days, I had no clue this movie had released, what it was about, or who was in it, till a friend asked if I wanted to go. I couldn't, that day, but I looked up the music, and fell in love with two songs. Then I looked up reviews, and decided I wanted to see it, even though I usually avoid movies with dismal endings or really anything requiring thought.

But I wound up going to see it anyway. And sat on the edge of my seat throughout. For someone who usually covers her eyes at the slightest scary or gory scene (yes, shoo), I don't think I blinked even once while watching the movie. And of course, towards the end, when Neerja's mother places the birthday gift, I started crying and didn't stop till the end credits started rolling.

The movie was extraordinarily well made, and Sonam Kapoor was surprisingly good in it. As were every other actor and actress in the movie.

On a more personal note, the movie was also utterly terrifying for someone who travels as much as I do, and for the reasons I do. And I'm not at all surprised the mother didn't like the movie - her imagination must be going crazy ever since she saw it.

It also struck me as interesting that having watched the movie in Amreeka, I got subtitles. So when the hijackers spoke among themselves in Arabic (at least, I assume it was Arabic, since they were supposed to be Palestinian?), I knew what they were saying. Folks I've spoken to who watched the movie back in India did not get subtitles, and so had no clue what those conversations were about.

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Since I mentioned Deepika Padukone, I have to say, her movie choices are no less approval worthy - at least the ones I've watched. I've watched Piku and Finding Fanny in the past year or two, and not only were those movies excellent, but she was excellent in them.

Also in both movies she says "mad or what?!" exactly how I say it and it makes me very sad I can't find a gif of her saying this phrase.

The day we went to watch Piku, my friends and I had an intense discussion just before the movie on why she was playing a Bengali woman, and not an actual Bengali woman. (I will point out I did not have a problem with this; my non-Bengali friends were the ones questioning this.) And it struck us that the current generation of actresses in Bollywood has no Bengali women left. I mean, yes, Rani Mukherjee and Konona Sen Sharma are kinda still around, but you know what I mean.

This makes me a bit sad.

I will however say Deepika Padukone made an excellent Bengali woman.

************

This post was supposed to be about just Neerja, but as usual, it got me thinking about other things.

Who are the other actresses in Bollywood doing relatively sensible movies? Kangana Ranaut, obvs. Anushka Sharma and Parineeti Chopra to a large extent I think. Alia Bhatt manages to do fairly decent roles too, and is a really good actress. Huma Qureshi, I think, is a name I keep hearing, but I haven't seen enough of her movies. Is that it? Priyanka Chopra seems to have been appearing in fewer movies, and in any case is being lauded by NRIs on Whatsapp for Quantico.

I feel like I don't even know who else are in the current crop of actresses in Bollywood. When did this happen to me?

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When I say characters with agency, I don't necessarily mean serious movies, y'know. One of Sonam's other movies that I quite enjoyed was Khoobsurat. Not as much as the original Khoobsurat, because obviously no one compares to Hrishikesh Mukherjee, but enjoyable nonetheless. But how unabashedly unapologetic was Sonam's character in the movie? Right till the end. I totes approve.

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Switching gears just a little, if the Marvel Cinematic Universe could just get it into its head that we don't need to constantly see a story arc where a woman finds out she can never have babies, I would be totally approving of Agent Carter's second season.  Because it gave me the almost all the things I've been wanting from a show - it had kickass women, it had men who didn't have a problem with kickass women, it even had one man who starts out being a chauvinistic idiot, and then grows as a character. It had women being friends, and it had one of the most beautiful platonic friendships between a man and a woman I can remember seeing portrayed. Also it helps that the pair I was shipping seems to have ended up together. Bring it back for a third season, I say to TPTB.

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This post has been in the works for a week or so, so it really wasn't planned as a Women's Day thing - especially since the construct of Women's Day does nothing more than infuriate me these days, because all it does is remind me how things just don't change. So the timing of this post finally being ready is purely coincidental. But as I glanced through other posts in the labels applied to this one, apparently I have been prone to writing in a similar vein around this time of year. What is there.

On Fuller House

I used to be a huge Full House fan when the show ran on Zee in the 90s, so when they announced a revival last I was tremendously excited. The new season dropped on Netflix, so obviously I've spent the weekend watching all of it. And I have thoughts. Tiny little thoughts, which needed venting.

*insert mandatory spoiler alert here, for those who haven't watched it yet, and plan to*

• The show is bad. There is no other way to say it. I really, really wanted to like it, and it's not terrible. It's just... not great.
• It's like they had ideas for a number of scenes, and wanted to insert them in somehow, and wrote scripts that made sure these scenes were inserted in somehow. But the thread running through a lot of those scenes don't always make sense. 
• I was not a fan of the acting. The kids were cute, and the former kids were stilted (except Kimmy Gibbler who was pretty amazing, as always), and the former grown ups who flitted in and out were trying too hard.
• I don't know how much of the show would click with people who didn't watch the original show. There were so many inside jokes, not just about the characters in the past, but also about the cast, that I had to keep looking up to check if they were talking about what I thought they were talking about.
• I am so sick of the trope where a woman who is single and living the good life has to find out she can't have children. 
• I kinda saw DJ's choice in the finale coming a mile away. 
• Having said that, #teamsteve, always.

For nostalgia's sake, if they come out with subsequent seasons, I will probably continue to watch this show. But maybe, just maybe, they shouldn't?

And this makes me very, very nervous about the Gilmore Girls revival.

Where The Flash reminds me of The West Wing

A dozen posts have been written in the past few weeks - all in my head, of course. And as expected, none of them made to the interwebs.

And before we proceed, allow me to say there are perhaps spoilers ahead, so proceed with caution.

So. I'm watching this week's episode of The Flash, and there's a scene where Joe West gives the watch his father gave him to Barry Allen, saying he always wanted to give it to his son. Now, Joe has a daughter, and as it now turns out, a son as well. But the watch his father gave him must be given to the boy he brought up as a son.

And this episode reminds me of an episode from one of my favorite shows - The West Wing. I love that show, and I watch it over and over. That show is why my list of new shows to watch keeps growing longer and longer, because I just keep going back to that show.

But just because I love The West Wing doesn't mean I'm blind to its flaws. Like just how chauvinistic it is. The brother sent me an article about the show several months ago, and my response was this:

I don't see why the word secretly is in there. Anyone who doesn't admit Aaron Sorkin is an asshole and a sexist and an utter douchebag is an idiot. 

That article is spot on about everything, by the way. Especially the fact that CJ Cregg would never have become Chief of Staff if Aaron Sorkin hadn't left the show after the fourth season.

AnyWAY. Why this episode of The Flash reminded me of The West Wing. There is an episode in the second season, I think. It's Thanksgiving, and Bartlet has Charlie running around trying to find the perfect carving knife. After several rounds of this, Charlie discovers Bartlet already has a knife and exasperatedly asks why he needs another. And Bartlet says it's because he's giving it away - to Charlie. Now, this knife - a Paul Revere knife, which apparently means something - has been handed down the generations in the Bartlet family.

Now, here's my thing. Joe West has a daughter, but in all fairness, he brought up Barry, and so calling him his son who deserves this watch his father gave him is... okay. Sorta.

But. Bartlet. The man has THREE daughters. THREE. And, at this point in the show, has known Charlie for just about one year. ONE. Compared to TWO DECADES of having three daughters.

Tell me Sorkin isn't an asshat.

Flashes and flashbacks

Like with most things I am terrified of, I can pinpoint the exact moment lightning began to scare the bejesus out of me.

I was in my early teens, and the mother used to teach in a school that ended a good hour after the brother and I got home. So as the responsible elder child, I was in charge of making sure the brother and I changed after getting home, ate our lunch, and (ideally) started on our homework by the time she got home. Which of course meant that we would get home, put on the TV, dawdle over our lunch, and then squawk and change five minutes before she would actually get home. (Oh, like you didn't know this, Ma.)

Good times.

Anyway, one afternoon, we were having our lunch while watching TV. I can't remember if a storm was already ongoing, or if it sprung up out of nowhere, but I do remember that our sofa was against the windows, and the TV screen faced the balcony door. And that it got darker as the afternoon progressed. And suddenly, out of the blue, a streak of lightning flashed across our TV screen, all the way from across that long living room of ours. And I'm pretty sure I grabbed my poor younger brother and screamed.

Not so good times.

I love rain, and I'm quite fond of thunderstorms. But lightning, to put it bluntly, frightens the crap out of me.

Last night, as I left work, after hearing about tornado warnings coming and going in various parts of the city, I looked up at the sky and saw lightning continuously flashing in the sky several miles away. In the direction I was headed. A part of my brain said it looked a lot like when the particle accelerator exploded on The Flash, but the rest of my brain kept having flashbacks to that afternoon all those years ago.

Eventually

One blog I follow (that's still updated) does a monthly list of everything the blogger (do we still call it that?) read that month. And every time I see those, I wish I read more - but we all know that's not gonna happen.

Then another blog I follow (which is miraculously also still updated) did this post on TV shows watched over the summer. And I thought, hey, I could totally do that, because if you weren't already aware, I watch way too much TV for my own good. And then I figured I could add movies to the list because one of my favourite things to whine about is the fact that I have goodreads.com to check off the books I do read, and sidereel.com to keep track of all the TV I watch, but nothing to keep track of the movies I watch.

So anyway, here's my list of stuff I watched over the last couple of months:

Movies, in the theater:

• Inside Out - talked about briefly here. The red man is still popping up in my head when I'm driving.
• Ant Man - It was actually a lot more fun than I expected it to be, mainly because for some reason I went in with minimal expectations.
• Mr Holmes -  Friends were debating between Southpaw and Trainwreck, the latter of which I really wanted to see. And then suddenly this was suggested. Not bad, but I'm not sure I see Sherlock Holmes retiring to the country because of a case gone bad. More research is warranted on the book this movie was based on. Also not sure if I came out of the theater yawning because of the movie or just because of the way life has been in general.

Movies, on Netflix/Hulu/Amazon, and so mainly repeats:

• Jab We Met - because I hadn't seen it in a while, and felt the need to.
• The Boxtrolls - if ever you wondered, is there an animated movie you didn't love? Till I saw this movie, the answer would have been no. This one - I don't even know what they were doing.
• American Sweethearts - Seen right after The Boxtrolls, because I needed a random chick flick to get over it.
• How to Train Your Dragon 2 - I was in the mood one day. I still maintain it was fun, but not as fun as the first.

 TV shows:

• The Daily Show with Jon Stewart - obvs. Piled up the last week to watch at one go, and there may or may not have been sniffles. There's a Jon Stewart shaped hole in my heart right now.
• White Collar - Caught up on the final season on a couple flights over the past two weeks. This show is one of those shows that I loved when it started, and then my love for it reduced but never went away. So I let it pile up and watch seasons at one go, rather than as every episode comes out. But man, the series finale gave me major feels. I mean, I knew what happens. I read all the reviews and spoilers. Even so, the last 15 minutes or so had me gasping and sniffling. And the shipper in me really, really wishes they'd brought back Sara somehow.
• Catastrophe - HILARIOUS. If you have Amazon Instant Video (or even you don't, because Lord knows there are ways to watch it), you should watch this show. I know people are describing it as a rom-com, and it probably is, but it's also not, but it's just so good.
• The Mindy Project - The thing about this show is that everyone who knows me and knows the kind (and number) of shows watch assured me I would love it. So about a year ago, I caught up on the first two seasons. And I liked it, but I didn't love it. Definitely not enough to watch it regularly when the third season started. I watched the first half of Season 3 a few weekends ago, but the rest is still waiting in my Hulu queue. I'll get to it - eventually.
• The West Wing - Lord, I don't even know what number rewatch this is. But anytime there's nothing current to watch on my list, and I have to choose between starting a new show from my never-ending to-watch list, and rewatching this show, this show wins. I finished Season 5 last night. I don't know if I want to see the last two seasons again yet, because they're the most painful ones to watch, Donna's and CJ's increased awesomeness in those seasons notwithstanding. Because I will NEVER forgive the show for what they did to Toby. NEVER.

 On the to-watch-eventually list right now:

• The current season of Suits, but I'll probably wait for it to end and then watch the whole thing at one go.
• Gilmore Girls - I'm halfway through the last season, and it's hurting. I'll get through it - eventually.
• True Detective and Fargo - because everyone tells me I must. At least the first season, that is.
• Last Week Tonight with John Oliver - I haven't watch the last dozen episodes or so, and need to catch up at some point. But that means I need to give in and get HBO Now, and I'm not ready for that commitment till it becomes available on the Roku (also because you know as soon as I get it, marathon watches of all kinds of shows will get started). So, eventually.
• Second seasons of Broadchurch and The Blacklist - when they come to Netflix
• Parks & Recreation -

There are also a gazillion movies between my Netflix, Amazon and Hulu queues, but I'm not good at watching movies by myself at home, so who knows if those will ever happen.

Where I ramble about TV shows and movies

I've come to realise that the second I publicly say I'm going to blog about something, the chances of actually doing so go straight to zero. Case in point - this month. I told @moronmoron I would write about why The Avengers infuriated me even though I loved most of the movie, and I didn't. I wrote in my last post I wanted to write about season 11 of Grey's Anatomy, and I didn't.

Oh, well.

I think it's fair to say that I watch a lot of TV. The fact that it took me two weeks between watching that episode and finishing the last the three episodes of Grey's Anatomy this past week is only partially due to the fact that I seem to have developed a social life that gets in the way of my TV watching, and mainly due to the fact that all the shows I watch on a weekly basis were having their season finales.

Anyway.

I was infuriated by the latest Avengers movie because I couldn't believe they had reduced a kickass character like Natasha Romanoff into a lovesick, baby-wanting woman who used lines like "still think you're the only monster?" after narrating the story of how she came to be sterile. I had conversations with two guys after seeing the movie, and although one of them argued that that line could have been interpreted to refer to her history as an assassin/spy/whatever-it-is-that-she-was, they agreed her arc in the movie was jarring.

I looked up online reviews of the movie to see if others had felt the same way, and surprise, surprise - I wasn't. There were plenty of articles and reviews that expressed my fury far more articulately than I ever could. But here's the thing - a lot of them talked about how Marvel doesn't know how to treat women. Now, I'm not qualified to talk about what Marvel has done outside of their cinematic universe, but I sure as heck disagree with this statement, because just look at their TV show. That show has had major ups and downs in its two-year run, and I have no idea what its season finale was all about, but them women on that show - they're awesome. They're smart, and strong, and amazing to watch.

And if you think about it, a lot of the shows I watch, despite being fairly "soap-y", write women really well. Shows like Once Upon a Time and Grey's Anatomy get astoundingly ridiculous at times (I mean, why anyone would ever want to move to Seattle is beyond me), but both these shows - even Castle as a matter of fact - have female protagonists who are kickass in all sorts of wonderful ways. Grey's Anatomy, especially, shows women balancing their careers and their families/kids in a way that no other show that I can think of does.

Sidebar: Since I seem to be stuffing everything into this post, I'll be honest. My biggest gripe with Grey's Anatomy in particular has always been its lead male protagonist - Derek Shepherd. Ever since the second season, where a, he turned out to be married, b, he chose his marriage over Meredith because it was the "right" thing to do, and c, basically came out and called her a slut because she chose to deal with the break up in a certain way, I've hated him. And then there was his complete arrogance regarding his professional brilliance, whether it was sidelining Meredith over the trials they did, or trying to oust Amelia from the Head of Neuro job because he decided he wanted it back - that guy was an ass. And had no character growth whatsoever in 11 years, unlike Alex Karev, who started out an ass, but is now the best I'll-do-it-grudgingly-but-I'll-do-whatever-you-need-me-to friend a girl could ask for. End sidebar.

What do I want from a movie or a TV show when it comes to women? I don't necessarily need the Bechdel test, because Lord knows it's flawed. I mean, depending on who you talk to, Age of Ultron technically passed it. I want women who are smart and kick ass. I want women who have female friends, and I want women who have male friends. I want women who have/want a relationship and kids, and I want women who don't want that (Christina Yang, you are missed). I want women who can say cheesy lines like "the only one who saves me is me" to the man she's in love with when he comes to save her.

Is that so much to ask for?

Where we react to that episode of that TV show

I just watched that episode of Grey's Anatomy. The one from a few weeks ago, the one that everyone who knows the show exists knew about within minutes of it happening, because this is not a fandom that is able to contain its spoilers.

I've been catching up on this season of the show over the past ten days or so, and have had a lot of thoughts that I wanted to blog about once I was done with the season. But now that I've gotten through this episode, I need to react to this episode in isolation, separate from the rest of it.

There's always that one episode of Grey's Anatomy that gets to me every season, and makes me beak down and bawl like an idiot. In its 11th season, this one was it. The last ten minutes of the episode were it.

The episode reminded me of this conversation.

The episode reminded me of a moment that took place in college. I was presenting in class. What I was presenting on, I can't remember. But I remember the room we were in, and where I was standing. I remember my professor telling us about her father, and how she had to take the decision to end his suffering, because her mother couldn't. I remember standing, facing my classmates, and watching each and everyone of them sobbing at my professor's matter of fact narration. I remember wondering why I wasn't sobbing. I remember my professor rolling her eyes and turning to me, saying "chalo, at least you're still the sensible one. Let's carry on now." I remember beginning my presentation, and having to stop because my voice broke. I remember taking a deep breath and starting again, only to break down completely. I remember turning around to face the wall, taking long and deep breaths and trying to get it together. I remember turning back, mouthing sorry to my professor as she looked at me exasperatedly, and continuing with my presentation.

I remember thinking if just the thought of having to take such a decision could shatter me like this, how had my professor survived it. And I remember thinking I wanted to be like her when I grew up.

The episode reminded me of a decision my family took two summers ago. I remember us spending weeks, trying to put off the inevitable. I remember us looking at each other, knowing we had to, but looking for reasons not to. I remember each of us, one by one, finally saying yes. I remember my brother asking for three days. I remember spending those three days, trying to pile in every moment we possibly could. I remember wondering once or twice why we were were prolonging the agony. I remember taking her for a walk with my brother. I remember coming back from the walk and seeing her refuse to enter the house. I remember her lying down in our driveway, and refusing to move from there, as if she knew what was about to happen. I remember the vet arriving, and all of us sitting around her while he did what he had to do. I remember the scream I let out when it happened.

And anyone who tells me I can't, or shouldn't, compare that memory with the loss of losing a parent, a spouse, or a child, can go fly a kite.

This damn show. It just gets to you, man.

That is all.

On Broadchurch

If you haven't watched the show Broadchurch, and intend to at some point (and I highly recommend you do because it is amazing), this post may not be for you (also don't search for the show online - at all). Because I spent about six hours yesterday watching all eight episodes at one go, and I'm trying to decide why and how I figured out who the killer was. So even if I don't name the killer outright in this post, the way I try to analyze this, I might, as they say, give the game up.

So, here's the thing. I'm the person who turns to the last page of a mystery book to see who the killer is - once I form a suspicion of my own, that is. I can't help it, that's who I've been since I started reading Agatha Christie and Mary Higgins Clark in my early teens, and I do it till today.

So yesterday, when I started watching Broadchurch, I think it was in the third or fourth episode when a very friendly and nice scene made me wonder. And then  I obviously did a search on the show, while watching, without really intending to find out if I was right. And as it turned out, one of the first results that popped up explicitly stated - as a synopsis in the results page itself - that the second season of the show will be about said character's trial. So a, I was right! B, don't do a search for the show if you've got this far in this post and still want to watch the show, 'kay?

So what I'm trying to figure out is why I thought it was this person. Was it simply because this person, by this point in the series, was honestly the least likely person? And reading and groaning over Agatha Christie as a teenager invariably makes me suspect the least likely person? Or was it the fact that one of the lead cops on the case kept showing her trust in the people she knew, the community she lived in, and the other lead cop kept telling her not to be so certain? And the person I suspected was, after all, the person she would have been most certain about?

And then - this is the truly spoilery part - there's the part where she looks at another woman, who has suffered a different tragedy, and judges her for not knowing. "How could you not know?", she asked. That line was bound to come back to haunt her, wasn't it? By the time that scene took place, even I hadn't already decided and found out who the killer was, the scene was set up, my first thought would have been, "well, aren't you going to regret saying those words."

I think. Would it have been? Would I have seen the point of that scene as clearly if I hadn't peeked ahead? I can't decide, and that's what's bothering me.

I really need to stop peeking ahead when I'm reading/watching mysteries.

Also, for those of you have who have watched the show, is there any point to watching Gracepoint? Because I still don't understand why they remade it the way they did. And I'm wondering I should spend another six hours (or longer since I hear they added a couple of episodes) to see the point of the remake. No, right? Tell me I shouldn't spend that kind of time. Please?

Bein' home

In the last 26 days, I have...

...read:

• The Mine, by Arnab Ray
• The Hunger Games trilogy
• The Godfather by Mario Puzo

For someone who has read practically nothing in the last two-three years, this is quite impressive.

...watched:

• All four seasons of Coupling
• Both seasons of Sherlock
• Both seasons of Downton Abbey, though some episodes seem to be missing from what I have procured, and also I only realised halfway through the show that it is Downton and not Downtown.
• The season finales of Community, Castle and Once Upon a Time
• Ishaqzaade
• The Avengers
• The IPL final

...eaten:

• Gol gappas and samosas at the neighborhood shop
• Genuine Indian Chinese food at a dingy street stall
• Calamari at HRC, Delhi
• Mughlai paratha at Kingdom of Dreams - could've been better, could've been worse.
• Aloo ke parathas at Jhilmil Dhaba, Karnal - with dollops of Amul butter and dahi
• Mushroom achaar and apple juice from the NAFED (now called HPMC, I think) stall at Jabli 
• Butter Chicken at Giani da Dhaba, en route to Kasauli
• Thukpa and momos in a dingy little shop in Lower Mall, Kasauli
• Chai at Ross Common, Kasauli - a charming little hotel where we've stayed when I was a kid
• Chicken rolls at Badshaah, New Market
• Breakfast at Flury's
• Pretty awesome vegetarian sizzlers in Patna's only mall
• My favorite dishes at The Monk, Gurgaon
• The mother's aloo posto, luchi-mangsho, shepherd's pie, and dosas
• The father's salami sandwiches

...visited:

• Jabli, Kasauli, and Chandigarh. With the princess in tow, because the hotel we were staying in let us bring her along, and gave us a lovely little "studio cottage" which came with a tiny kitchen where we could make her khana too
• Kolkata, to meet the grandmother
• Patna, to visit the brother

I did NOT get to:

• have Bhutta
• visit the Inayat Khan dargah in Nizammuddin for Friday evening qawwalis, followed by a meal at Karim's
• go to Kake da Hotel
• have Shorshe-bata or any of mum's fish dishes
• eat at Big Chill
• go into Delhi as much as I would've liked, or visited CP, or Khan Market, or Dilli Haat
• go swimming

It's been a good month. Short, though.

Conversations on the phone

The father and I just had a chat on the phone, while he was waiting to board a flight back from Bombay to come home, during which I tried to articulate a lot of what's been bothering me for a while now. We both rambled, and jumped from topic to topic, so I can't quite present the whole thing. Snippets that I can recall, in no very clear order are presented below. Oh and if you haven't seen Ishaqzaade but plan to and don't want spoilers, avoid the third snippet, which pretty much gives away the main "twist" of the movie.

Baba: What did you think of the Satyamev Jayate episode yesterday?

Me: Wasn't bad. I broke down while watching it, of course. Thrilled they're finally talking about CSA, and SO awed by how brave and incredible the survivors were to come and talk the way they did. But I wish Aamir Khan wouldn't lead the conversations so much. Let the people articulate things their own way na, instead of saying "so what you mean is this...?".

Baba: Hmmm. Some of the folks I met here saw the show. People don't seem to have liked the show much. 

Me: Yes well, from what I see on twitter these days, people like to be cynical because they seem think that's what's expected.

Baba: People seem to be worried "intelligent actors will now be determining government policy."

Me: But... he's not going into policy. He's stopping at spreading awareness. Which, yes, could be a complaint, but at least he's spreading awareness. Who said this?

Baba: Oh, the educated folks of Bombay. And fool editors who print such letters to the editor.

Me: Yes well, your reform is never going to come from the educated folks. They're too busy try to convince themselves and everyone else that everything happens in other homes and classes, not in their own.

Baba: Come on, that's not entirely true.

Me: Oh come on, not to take anything away from the tragedy, but one hit-and-run happened in Gurgaon, and people are organizing silent marches to protest because they knew the persons involved. How many such incidents happen with people the "educated people" don't know, and who organizes marches for them?

Baba: But then the question is, which one will hit? And make the point?

Baba: I hear all the "young MPs" were absent from the 60th anniversary celebrations in Parliament yesterday.

Me: I'm impressed the old folks showed up.

Baba: Who's being cynical now?

Me: But that's the thing no? Where do you see hope? Our politicians are useless, social reform is not happening, so what do you have that you shouldn't be cynical about? But I'd like to think my cynicism is not because I feel I need to be, but because I can't help it!

Baba: Mindsets need to change.

Me: But where do you start? We just came back from seeing Ishaqzaade, and yes, the crowd was horrible. You know what I hated the most? There's this scene where the lead pair has just slept together, and he's walking away from her after informing her that he only pretended to fall in love with her because he wanted "revenge" for the slap she gave him. There's a woman crying on the screen, Baba, and the men in the audience are hooting with glee. What do you do with such mentality? How do you begin to change that?

Baba: I think we should completely avoid the PVR in Sahara Mall. The price difference isn't worth it.

Me: Well, yes, but again, how does that change things?

Me: Did I tell you about the FirstPost article where the writer wondered why the women who'd been forced to have abortions continued to agree to have "conjugal relations" with their husbands?

Baba: Does this writer have any idea about what India's like?

Me: Uh huh. So there seems to have been such uproar that the editors took down the article and apologised, saying they are aware all women don't have that option.

Baba: Well, at least they have some sense.

Baba: Well, I have to switch off now. So you're going to Delhi in the evening? By metro?

Me: Yep.

Baba: *silence*

Me: Chill na, if I get late coming back, I'll take a cab.

Baba: Oh, okay.

There was more, a lot of which I can't put together coherently. Heck, I'm not sure this was coherent. I went to the mother to chat after I ended the call, and her first words, as happens rather frequently, were: You're worked up again. Now what?

I told her a bit about the conversation and she wanted to know if I was upset because there are problems, or because I don't know what to do about the problems. 

There's a good question to ask myself.

Nomenclature

For years, I've watched Shabani Azmi give interviews, and in every single one of them, she's got on her soapbox about how she's not an actress, she's an actor. Because y'know, you don't call a female doctor a doctress, so why should acting be any different. 

Which, okay, is her point of view, and she's entitled to it. But it never really resounded with me despite all my rants on gender equality.

Then, this season of Castle brought in a new Captain for the precinct. Captain Victoria Gates. Who, in her very first episode on the show demanded to be addressed as either "Captain" or "Sir". Never Ma'am.

As as the season has progressed, with every episode that the rest of the characters on the show persist in calling her Sir rather than Captain, my discomfort with the idea has increased. 

There's so much else in the whole fight for gender equality, that to me, focusing on something as silly as nomenclature seems... pointless. More than that, I don't see why women feel the need to downplay the fact that they're women in the effort to be treated as equal. And that's what this feels like.

There's enough to fight for. Picking your battles is a great concept, but those battles should have some meaning. And ensuring that you're addressed the same way men are holds no meaning for me. Because, at the end of the day, how you're addressed has nothing to do with how you're treated. And that should be the focus. Period.

Free association

I feel almost apologetic about the bombardment of posts this month.

So I'm just back from watching the movie Chak De. A quick review before I bring up the two points it brought to mind: Nice movie - rather well made, I thought. The girls were good, while SRK was annoying in the few scenes he had to give inspirational speeches, tolerable in the rest of the movie.

I'm not an SRK fan. Let's move on.

I was amazed that Aaj Tak agreed to give its name and be portrayed in such a manner. Aaj Tak is one of those channels I refuse to watch because the few times that I have found myself watching it, all i have seen is either the latest news from Bollywood, in which case I would rather go straight to Zoom, or very absurd things being reported with highly dramatic background music being played. However, from what I gather, Aaj Tak is also one of those channels which enjoys pretending it's a court and judging people based on little or no evidence. And you've got to hand it to them; it takes guts to go out and let yourself be portrayed in a manner you'd be stoopid not realize you're criticised for.

What was the other thing? Oh yes.

March 23, 2003 remains one of the most painful memories for me. My economics Board exam was three days away, but practically everyone in my batch had kept their books aside that day to watch the cricket World Cup final between India and Australia. Chak De totally ripped off the pattern for that World Cup in this match. Lost the first League match against Australia, come back with a bang to win every single match to follow, and meet up with Australia again in the finals. The only thing they didn't rip off was the goddamn conclusion of that match. Sheesh.

Of talking dogs and high school diplomas...

Have the Indian news channels completely lost their marbles? This afternoon, NDTV 24x7 had a feature about the dogs of mumbai, which I might have continued to watch if they hadn't started interviewing street dogs, complete with some precocious kid doing the voice-over for the dog.
Then now, just an hour or so back, I stared fascinatedly for all of thirty seconds as Star News went on with their appeal to the viewers to cast their votes on whether or not they think it was right or not of some girl to have jilted her fiancé on the day of their wedding in favour of her true love!!!
This is news these days. Sheesh.

Amidst all the trash on Indian televsion these days, there are a few not so popular shows, usually telecast on weekend nights, which, while not be pathbreaking in any way, are rather sweet and fun to watch occasionally. I don't watch them regularly, but come across them at times while flipping channels.
The other day, one of these shows, which is based in a small moholla, had a rather interesting track. An old lady, whose grandchildren are grown and on the verge of leaving home, decided to try and fulfill one of the long-cherished dreams: to give her Matriculation exam. Having got married at the age of 16, just a month before her Class X Boards, she had always dreamt of giving the exams, but never got the oppurtunity. Till the point I continued to watch, she had received her admit card and was trying to convince her husband to allow her to sit for the exams.
About a year ago, a friend of mine had mentioned how her mother never got to go to college and was now expressing the desire to pursue further education. We told her about places like IGNOU but I don't think she ever followed it through.
There are probably so many people in India who had to leave their studies prematurely for various reasons, be it marriage, or lack of funds, or simply their parents thinking it was unnecessary for them to continue. In the USA, they night classes for those who want to finish their high school graduation; India doesn't have a system like that. Yes, we have distance learning and correspondence courses at the higher levels; institutes like IGNOU and DU enable people to pursue their graduation or even post-graduation at later stages in life. But what happens to those who want to do their basic schooling? Give their Matriculation exams? They can give these exams as open candidates of course, but I do wish there was some kind of system where these people could also attend classes if they so chose.
Of course, while I'm at it, I also wish the whole freaking education system in India would change, but that's another story altogether.

Update: (04/03/07)
I watched the latest episode of that show last night, and apparently after a great deal of resistance the Man of the House decided to support his wife in her decision to take her Matriculation exams at the age of 55 or something. The last scene showed him waiting for her to come out after her first exam with nariyal ka paani in his hand. How sweet! :)