Friday, July 20, 2018

Can we just not

You guys, I would just like to say, enough is enough. I have had periods of nonstop injury and/or illness in the past, documented here and here. But these last few months have really taken it to a whole new level. Because it's really never been so prolonged.

It started with the allergies. Which eventually got so bad that two days after irritatedly telling my mother she shouldn't fuss and there was no need to come to me, I called her and tearfully asked if she could come. Except she hadn't bothered telling me that she was unwell, and as a result, by the time she eventually did come, I was much better, and close to finding out the cause of my allergies.

Which, as it turned out, were two things. Shellfish. And nickel. SHELLFISH AND NICKEL. Shellfish, which includes every kind of seafood I like. And nickel, which apparently is present in most costume jewelry. SHELLFISH AND NICKEL. What is even the point of life anymore I don't know.

Look at her earrings, you guys.

But. Moving on.

Then, on one of my weekend trips soon after my mother left, I managed to sprain my back, which knocked the wind out of me for almost a week. During said week I was also travelling for work, so of course that was fun.

The weekend after that, I was at a friend's place and scraped my shin against the steps to her pool, and then ended up with a cold and cough, that persisted all week till I left for vacation.

Said vacation, thank the lords, was relatively uneventful. If you discount the teensy weensy car accident we had where we jerked our necks a bit but were fine by the next day. The poor car, of course, wasn't, but we were, so we're ignoring this incident.

Amidst all of this of course is the fact that it is summer and all the insects in the world are heading straight to me, and so I have bites and scabs popping up all over my feet and arms.

And then, yesterday, in a truly spectacular fashion, I managed to top my entire summer's worth of illness and injury.

I had an offsite meeting in the morning, and had just about managed to find a parking spot. I was walking into the building with a coworker, carrying, as is usual with me, one bulging purse weighing twenty pounds (or so my coworker later claimed), one tiny suitcase, and a ceramic carry mug with tea in it. And somehow, as we were crossing the street leading to the building, my right foot twisted, I teetered for about 10 seconds trying to regain balance, and eventually just went down FLAT on my face, sprawled in the middle of the road. And of course it was the one day when I had actually checked the weather, seen it was going to be 107F/42C, and decided to wear a dress. So there I was, doing sashtang pranam in the middle of the road, with tea that had splashed all over my face and hair, and two scraped and bloody knees.

Are scraped knees really supposed to be this painful? Because here I am, 36 hours later, still not being able to sit comfortably, or take the stairs easily, and texting my local friend circle to see who has salwars they can lend me for the next week, because I definitely need the loosest clothing possible till this blessed scab goes away.

So, all in all, 2018 is not going very well so far (if you discount the fantastic vacations, that is). And if I could just go at least the rest of the month, if not year, without any further ridiculous or traumatic incident, that would be great. Because I'm really tired of walking into places and have people go, "oh yeah, I heard that happened to you... how you doing?"