Where I try not to judge you, but do anyway

I have a feeling this post is going to come out as utterly obnoxious and condescending and judgmental and all sorts of things, and I'm going try to articulate my thoughts in a way that isn't, but you have been warned anyway. And now that we have that disclaimer out of the way, let's try to articulate those thoughts.

I'm not - I'd like to believe - one of those people who put up posts or photos of everything that's happening to me on Facebook; that's what Twitter and Instagram are for, for me. My posts, more often than not, are about things that irritate me, or articles I find and read and think are interesting, or, as someone pointed out recently, when it rains. What can I say, I love baarish.

It's not that I don't post photos either on Facebook - I posted photos from a friend's wedding less than a month ago. And I do take a lot of photos with the intention of posting them, especially when I travel, but the whole process of uploading them into an album is so tedious that I usually end up not doing it.

But. I got a haircut yesterday. And I posted "before" and "after" photos on Facebook. And in the twelve-ish hours between posting them and starting to write this post, they've become one of my most "liked" posts on FB. Possibly only after my graduation photo from last year, and I think it has now beaten the post about my parents' 30th anniversary.

And it makes me wonder, is this what people want to see? What I look like before and after I chop off ten inches of hair to send to Locks of Love? So all the articles about women and politics and puppies that I post, which get a couple of "likes" (if any) - people just roll their eyes and scroll past them? Even the puppies?

Don't get me wrong, I'm as compulsive a liker as anyone. I like posts - all the time. But I feel (hope) I do balance out the cute baby photos and the articles, because hello, they mean something.

And it's not like I need validation or a gazillion likes to continue posting. I see it on others' posts too - the obnoxious ones whining about the whims of vegan friends, or the ones humble-bragging about how blessed they are to have a free weekend after working SO hard all week that their client gushed with praise will get a lot more response than some of the really brilliant articles that get shared by others.

And at the risk of sounding utterly judgmental, as you were warned, it makes me feel like Louis CK has a point when he calls us the crappiest generation ever.

The world of G+

I'm feeling left out of the entire Google Plus conversation, so here's my two paisa worth on the new social networking must-have.

• The way I see it, G+ seems to be the opposite of Twitter. You follow people who want to hear from on twitter; on G+, you add people you want to share with to your circles. Isn't that sorta in-your-face?
• Facebook is where I keep in touch with people I know IRL, and those online folks who I've connected with beyond twitter and blogs. G+ hasn't caught on with a wider audience yet, so at the moment, most of the people suggested to me are online folks. Doesn't help, because I haven't connected with those many! So my circles are fairly empty at the moment.
• A lot of it so far seems to be sharing of articles and posts that people are finding interesting. Why do I need another site to do that? I have twitter, GReader, and occasionally, even Facebook. Anything I want to share with the world is adequately shared through these three sites. I don't need another.
• And my biggest pet peeve: the big USP of G+ was supposed to be the idea of sharing specific things to specific circles. I just shared my first article on G+, and it asked me which circles I wanted to share it with. Here's why that doesn't make sense to me. I may have a circle called College friends, but from the 30-odd people I went to college with, today I'm close to less than people. So I may not want to share with all the 30, no? On Facebook, I have lists similar to circles anyway - School, College, Work, and now B-school. I also have three lists called Severely Restricted, Limited Profile, and Kinda Limited. One gets to see my wall, but nothing of what I post. One gets to see some links that I post, but rarely my status updates, and none of my photos. And the third gets to see most of my status updates and links, but very few of my photos. (I'm a little paranoid, yes.) It doesn't matter where I know you from, it's how well I know that defines what I share with you. So yes, while I could make a Circle saying "People I like and want to share my whole life with" on G+, it's easier to keep people out than bring them in.

Does that make sense?

I do realise that for people who are very active in the whole Social Media, Social Collaboration, and that kind of stuff, will get excited by G+. Google Wave was also made for such people, and was actually a very cool thing - just way ahead of its time, which failed, in my opinion, because the wider audience had no use for it.

I'm part of the wider audience, I think, because any talk of optimizing social media just bores me to death. I'm on the sites I am for interesting stuff to read, and some nice conversations. And I'm very happy with my twitter conversations, thank you. The anonymity I pretend to cling to there comforts me. I don't need a second site for these conversations, especially one where I have to tell the whole world who I am.

To be a woman

I really don't have an opinion on Women's Day one way or another. Sure, it's fun - the only man in our all-women firm got us a chocolate cake today. Others on twitter tell me they're getting free lunch, chocolates, even first prizes in singing competitions. All very nice, yes.

My Facebook feed is filled with status updates by women congratulating each other on how privileged and special they are to be women. Again, fascinating.

Yes, it is wonderful to be a woman - most of the time. When we're not beset by insecurities about our body shape, hair colour, wardrobe's colour coordination, it's lovely to be a woman. When we're not trying to work twice as hard to prove ourselves in what is still a man's world, when we're not ignoring the not-so-subtle leering by a potential client, when we're not juggling career and family because the menfolk still don't pitch in, when we're not responding to "your husband earns enough, why don't you take a break?", when we're not constantly justifying our decision to go for an MBA at the age of 26 instead of "settling down", yes, it feels really special to be a woman.

Facebook bemuses me at times.

Did I ever tell you I found lumps under my breast two years ago? We went to the doctor, he assured me they were just cysts that I am prone to and nothing to worry about. Then last year, one of the newer cysts started bleeding. So we went back to him. And he said the same thing - I tend to sweat a lot, this creates these cysts, I just have to live with them.

Then a month back, a friend and I were chatting when she suddenly tells me she had found a lump in her breast. More than a year back. And that a few days back, she found some more. So she was finally going to the doctor. The doctor told her she had three tumours. Three. All benign, but it would be a good idea to have them taken out. I hadn't felt that level of terror in a long, long time.

Your Facebook campaigns that ask you to post the colour of your bra mean nothing in the midst of all this.

My twitter timeline points me to an article practically every day about either a rape, a murder, a female foeticide, a case of domestic violence. Women power my ass.

I really don't have an opinion on Women's Day one way or another. Treat it like Mother's Day or Father's Day - one day in the year to celebrate being a woman. But stop telling me it's about woman power or about gender equality. Because that's just a load of bullshit.