Sunday, November 12, 2006

Dire straits

About a year ago, during a rather innocuous conversation, a friend of mine happened to mention ot me that according to Vaastu Shastra or Feng Shui or one of those things, how organized your home is supposedly signifies how clear you are in your thoughts. That day, on returning home, I went to my room and took a good look around. Sure enough, a horrible mess met my eyes.

Now, I might not believe in any of those schools of thought, but this particular line of thought made sense to me. My thoughts have been in a complete clutter for the past two years or so now, and my room, well, when has that not been a mess?!? That, my dear and not-so-dear readers, is why the train of thought in most of my entries rarely seems to follow any logical path.

The bottomline is, while my room occasionally does undergo a thorough spring-cleaning session, the clutter my thoughts have been in for the last two years has reached a point where I don't seem to be able to sort them out even if I tried. Moreover, this feeling has intensified in the recent past. I feel pulled in different directions all the time in pretty much every aspect of my life these days. There are innumerable options, demands, suggestions, commands, and roads that seem to magically appear before me without me evincing the slightest bit of desire for any of it. I sometimes feel like a captured octopus who has eight different idiots pulling at each of its legs - not a very pleasnt image to bring to mind, I agree. The desparation for answers seems to be just increasing at times.

I think I would be in a better state - at least mentally, if nothing else - if I had some degree of faith in yoga, or art of living, or reiki, or something. Unfortunately, I don't. And that means that I am quite likely to finally give in to my long-cherished desire of throwing a crystal vase at the wall and smashing it to smithereens very soon.

5 comments:

ZiggyStrauss said...

Ab I think this time in our lives is when we're meant to be thoroughly confused and traumatised. I don't know what's happening either. But... maybe it's the masochist in me... I enjoy it. I like the thrill of not knowing what I'm doing. Possibly because I know my capabilities and I know there are lots of doors I can walk through. The trouble is... which one? and who's giving me the key?

Abhishek said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Abhishek said...

Well the uncertainty is there in Everyone's life .The constant pulling and pushing goes on with everyone,Think of it as a Crazy ball where life tries to throw you down as hard as possible but You have to bounce back even harder,That's how i motivate myself to fight this NOT so nice world.

p.s:Jus looked around my room ,Suprisingly Clean !,and my thoughts.....??:(...ah!!.Forget it !

Anonymous said...

the first volley of thoughts that crosses my mind whenever u make any mention of your house or room is 'the stair-case' ....

anyway, entering into your room after a good number of rolls from your stairs .... there are endless benefits/advantages of a room that is dessus-dessous .....

unorganised room is a sign of a busy person ...so u can act busy whenever the situation demands...

such rooms make u better managers in future .... since they are visible signs of multi-tasking ... perhaps u can add that in yr CV ...

such rooms help u hide 'personal and naughty' stuff better .... simply becoz others would never bother lending a helping hand (in cleaning)to such undisciplined proprietors of rooms ...

...helps u sleep better in nights...and days ....just think of arranging or tidying such a room and .... u'll feel sleepy ....

there are many more reasons.... but lets stop here for todays...

time to take the staircase....

sandy

a traveller... said...

@ziggy:
Well I ain't a masochist... well not as much as you! I want the key NOW!!!

@abhishek:
I didn't mean uncertainty per se you know. I just meant... blah.

@sandy:
You sadist, you! I haven't fallen since then! Ah... I was planning to clean my room today... you've convinced me not to!!!