Sunday, August 05, 2012

Stressful ramblings

The phone rang on Friday evening, but stopped after one ring. I realised it was from the father, and promptly called him back, thinking something must have happened for him to call me so early. Only when he picked up did I realise it was actually past 8 PM, and therefore a fairly reasonable time for him to call me.

I don't know if it was the stress of the week, or just my subconscious catching up with me, but I ended up startling my father by bursting into tears out of relief.

Aurora, Colorado, two weeks ago. Pune, five days ago. And then Oak Creek, Wisconsin, this morning.

None of them impacted me at a personal level. Not even in a minuscule way like Delhi and Mumbai in 2008 might have. But they all make you wonder, what is wrong with people and the world?

Close to a year ago, there was a bomb blast in the Delhi High Court. This was less than two months after I had moved to the US, so even though very few people I know were likely to have been close to the site, it freaked me out no end. And then I had a conversation with the BFF, which helped put things in context. A bit.

me: how do you deal with it?
everytime something happens back home?
BFF: I remember a line from a "poem" we read in class 6 or 7
do you remember the atomic bomb shelter announcement one?
there's a line in it that goes something like 'there will be casualties... statistically it is not likely to be you'
and so I use stats, and work out how much I need to worry based on distance
so GK, CP, Sarojini, Saket etc. means worry
saket would mean xtra worry cos mum's there
MG road means worry
malls means, unlikely you need to worry but check just in case
me: I love you
I am going to save this conversation
and keep coming back to it
and someday
when I've internalized it
BFF: :)
me: I will blog it
BFF: ok :)
I am happy I helped yay :)
I wish I could remember that poem, it was eerie.
but that line was so reassuring it stayed
me: happens that way
I try to apply that these days. Pune meant some worry because the godfather's family and sundry other family and friends live there. Wisconsin and Aurora were scary at entirely different levels, but more for the mother than me. Other events, across India and elsewhere, have been worrying and frustrating because it's just so hard to get information that isn't juvenile and completely screwed up in the way it's relayed by the media. I had to email the brother a few weeks back, because I couldn't find a single report, article or blog that helped me understand what exactly was happening in Assam.

I've mentioned earlier, I think, that some years ago, after another blast in Delhi, a friend called from Mumbai to find out if I'm fine and mentioned that he had actually made groups in his phone's contact list - one for each metro city of the country. Made it easier for him to react and find out about family and friends every time a blast happened.

The way the world's been over the past few weeks, and longer, it seems to have become increasingly important to be able to do that - reach out to people.

Oh and because the BFF is awesome, if you recognize that poem, tell us, yeah?


Igirit said...

it sucks, yes.

Igirit said...

not the poem. the poem's beautiful. thanks for leading me to it.

life sucks! anyhoo, be brave!

R said...

I googled 'statistically it is not likely to be you' shortly after this conversation and landed on the same page. Great poem though the 'leave your pets behind' bit upsets me :(