I have a very entertaining family, I do.
The mother, on reading the post I put up about her attempts to reason with the princess: Why do you eavesdrop private conversations between two sensitive souls?
The brother is back home, and expected to be here for the next couple of months. He is also unwell, which means he is being more mollycoddled than usual. The mother asked him the other day what he wants for breakfast. This is the conversation that ensued:
Brother: Can you make that white thing?
Mother: What white thing? Upma?
Brother: No, no, that white thing.
Mother: Eggs? Idlis?
Brother: Arre that white thing which has leaves and peanuts in it.
Mother: Upma?
Brother: Yeaaaaaaah.......
The recent Bharat Bandh meant there were posters of all Opposition leaders all over the roads. Being clueless as ever, I struggled to recognise some of them.
Moi: That one's Nitin Gadkari, right? The second one from the left?
Father (not looking up): Does he look like a toad?
Moi: Umm, yeah?
Father: Then that's Gadkari.
BUT. It's not just my family which is entertaining. My job involves some amount of interviewing these kids who keep applying to us. Today, a girl from Bombay sent in her resume. Looked good on paper, so I gave her a call.
Moi: So before we take this forward, I wanted to check, are you comfortable relocating to Gurgaon?
Her: Well, I'm not against relocation per se, as long as the profile is good you know?
Moi: Sure, fair enough.
Her: Also you will have to arrange for my stay and food you know. I mean, food ok, I can manage. But we keep hearing how Gurgaon isn't very safe, so...
Moi: (deep breath) Well, you know, we could always give you suggestions on where to take up accommodation, but you will have to kind of arrange for it yourself. But...
Her: But you people will help? Because Gurgaon's not very safe for an alone girl you know
Moi: I suppose...?
The conversation then went on for a bit, with me saying that we'll call her again on next week when my colleagues are in office also. As we were concluding the call:
Her: But tell me, do you think Gurgaon is safe for an alone girl [NB: I swear, that is the phrase she used.] to move to?
Moi: Well, I've lived here for 15 years because my family lives here. But we have a few girls working with us who live on their own here, and they haven't had any problems.
Her: Really? But isn't Gurgaon in, like, Haryana proper?
Moi: Umm, yes?
Her: Hmm. Are you going to call me tomorrow evening again?
Moi: Er, no. Next week maybe?
Her: Ok that's fine. I'm busy tomorrow you see.
I really, really wish I was making this up.
