When the dream came true

More than a year ago, when I was taking the decision to embark on the whole MBA application process, I had one of my all-too-frequent moments of self-doubt at a time when the brother was home. Should I even bother? Did I have what it took? My academic record wasn't too great, I had only a few years of work experience under my belt, and so on and so forth.

The main theme of this particular phase of self-doubt, however, was the fact that I had always got the second-best option of whatever I went for. I wanted to study Psychology, but got into JMC, not LSR. For my MA, I got into South Campus, not the more renowned North Campus. I was working for a niche consulting firm, but not one of the bigger "brands". What made me think I would get into a top B-school in the US?

The brother heard me whine and rant for some time, rolled his eyes, and spoke, saying something to the effect of: You've never given anything your best shot. You just went with the flow of things. And you got into the second-best option every single time. All of which, while not the best, were pretty damn good options. So if you really try and work hard, why can't you get into the best?

And it struck me, he was right. I've always somehow taken pride in the fact that I've never really gone after anything. I just went wherever the road took me, wherever life led me. That's what a traveller does, after all. And while I have very few regrets about where life took me - college in JMC gave me three of the best years of my life, and my work has been my passion for the past three years - what would life have been like if I had actually gone after something?

So when I decided to go for an MBA, I gave it everything I had. I cracked the GMAT, I obsessed over my essays, I drove everyone around me crazy with my erratic work schedule and my constant stressing and fretting, I procrastinated till the last possible moment and then pulled off all-nighters to finish things, but I did it.

And then exactly one month and one day ago, it happened. The one school I had my heart set on ever since I even thought of an MBA accepted me. The one school I would have given up almost anything to go to said they would be delighted to offer me admission.

For the first time in my life, I knew what it meant to get something you really really wanted. What it meant to get into the best.

There's a lot that I still had to process. There are a lot of worries and stresses that started creeping in ever since I realised that I actually am going off for my MBA. Another very good school was offering me financial aid, and the dream school didn't. But then I do have the most incredibly supportive parents, and a know-it-all brother and a set of friends who convinced me that the dream is what I should go after.

And so, come July, a new chapter will begin - one I actually went after.

WOOHOO. Also, *gulp*.