To be a woman, Part II

Three brilliantly written and interesting articles were pointed my way today:

• The Careless Language of Sexual Violence, which reacts to this utterly insensitive and ridiculous article that had "reported" the gang-rape on an eleven-year-old girl in Texas. My heart was breaking about the trauma that girl must have gone through, and all the NY Times could report was some idiot who said “These boys have to live with this the rest of their lives.”
• On Sluts, Rape and Fuckery, an absolute brilliant article by Shalene Gupta on the hardest part of rape - the silence (something I used to keep hearing when I worked with RAHI Foundation - the silence, the inability to talk about what has happened to you, is such a large part of the trauma) - and some words and their connotations, and what these words do to you. It's one of those articles that blow your mind away, literally. Read.
• And finally, a beautiful article by Annie Zaidi, where she talks about what being a woman in modern India meant a decade ago, and what it means today. And how the women in our lives make us the women we are.

Rape, domestic violence, child sexual abuse, sexual assault - I'm known to get on my soapbox about these fairly often. I can take most jokes, but jokes about these get very difficult to digest. And it is utterly infuriating when rape or sexual abuse is somehow made to be the victim's fault.

Nothing, nothing, justifies rape. And if you don't know that yet, you don't deserve to exist. And you should go read this to help you understand just who is to blame.

The Stylish Indian

I love Shoba Narayan's latest column, especially the ending, in which she talks about just how stylish Indians are.

Style is hard to define. Reams of pages in fashion magazines are devoted to it. Designers take it apart and even then it is useless because style is subjective — the exuberant overdose that John Galliano thinks is stylish would be anathema to a Japanese.

As a people, I believe that we Indians are stylish. I don’t mean the Page 3 socialites who have fallen prey to Western dictates (and brand names) of what constitutes style. I mean that rural India has a style that is entirely and uniquely our own. It is in the upturned jootis and the dignified walk of a turban-clad farmer in Rajasthan; in the crisp folds of a Bengal cotton sari, especially when worn by pretty much any woman in Kolkata; in the green bangles of a koli fisherwoman who goes to Crawford Market; in the pristine white “mundu” dhoti of Kerala politicians including defence minister A.K. Antony; in the graceful walk of any woman who balances a pot of water on her head. Wherever you look in India, we have a style and grace that is a mixture of Bauhaus functionality and Baroquean exuberance. It follows Mies van der Rohe’s dictate that form must follow function and then adds a fillip of colour and je ne sais quoi to it.

Every morning after putting my kids in the school bus, I sit down and watch the line of maids who enter our building complex. Not one of them is poorly put together and I’ve heard this said about bais (maids) all over India. They take pride in their appearance and come in wearing neatly-pinned saris, perhaps some jasmine in their hair, maybe a bangle or two and a dangling earring as a nod to current fashion. No make-up, no expensive accessories, just professionals dressed up for their jobs. Are they stylish? I doubt that they think in those terms. They are unstudied but not nonchalant. They pay attention to their clothes but don’t fuss over them. Most of all, their outfits stay true to themselves, with a little extra fillip. If that’s not style, I don’t know what is.

On another note, I started another blog, dear visitors. You may visit it here.

A matter of perspective

This post sure gets to the heart of things, dunnit?

Meme #1: The GHM

Google Reader's blog search function helped me come across two posts with Georgette Heyer mentioned in them, and with a nice little meme.

Anyone who has ever fallen in love with her version of the GHM, I tag you. Write a post, it doesn't have to be very big, about that person – literary character, comic book hero, some guy in a movie, a random person you'll never meet – we’ll start a list that will probably never end.

The meme's interesting, but I honestly can't think of any one GHM who made me go weak at the knees. Books just never did that for me. I love Heyer's romances, yes, and I've been reading Mills & Boons for year now, but my issue with all the men in all these books has always been that they are just too... overbearing. And omniscient. Especially the Heyer-oes. Beaumaris, Alverstoke, Sylvester, Avon - you pick any of them, you'll see it. They just know everything. And I don't quite like that. By that logic though, my favourite Heyero would probably be Freddy Standen, who just stumbles through the whole book, finding unexpected depths to himself by sheer luck, and is just about the most endearing guy from any book. But know, he's not the GHM for me either.

But anyway, whoever you are, if you have or have had a GHM in your life, you are hereby tagged.

PS: After some more thought, I have realised that Jonathan Trager from Serendipity, followed very closely by Aditya Kashyap of Jab We Met, come extremely close to being my GHM. And Oliver Barrett IV from the only book which has ever made me cry (while every other movie makes me howl invariably) comes a very close third.

PS2: Dissertation due in just about a week; stress levels running high; no time whatsoever. You can therefore safely assume there will be frequent updates in the days to come.

White Drums

For some reason that I have now forgotten, I found myself on this site today.

Now, I have nothing against the site and I'm sure it's a wonderful initiative which will make great contributions to our society. But take a look at their site header, and I quote:

"White Drums first Indian e-news paper by people."

*sigh* Was that really necessary? I mean, they're asking for it, aren't they?

So tell me... What are other "e-news papers" run by? Elephants?

A thought. Or two.

So Narendra Modi and the BJP won in Gujarat. While not that surprised, I was, well, not happy.

I am, however, rather startled by the kind of jubilant reactions I'm seeing even in the Indian blogosphere in reponse to this victory. Modi as the Prime Minister of India? Seriously? Good God. [I'd like to add at this point that I disagree with most of the list in that post. Thank you.]

It almost comes as a relief to read one or two blogs actually expressing discontent at Modi's victory.

Yes, we live in a democracy. I started 2007 by having strong doubts about the Indian population's sanity when Aap ka Suroor became a hit (no, I haven't seen the movie, and no I have no intention of ever seeing it, thank you for asking). I'm ending the year convinced that there's something seriously wrong with our nation and the way we think and behave.

I really need to figure out how to highlight links in my posts.

TMGAIHAA

Heh. This is brilliant. A tad long maybe, but brilliant.

[Link courtesy India Uncut, as almost always. What can I say? I find sarcasm and I'm a fan for life.]

Need a place to stay in San Francisco?

Heh. Reddit does make you come across the most brilliant stuff.

Update: The site obviously didn't quite like the listing, but hey, what am I here for?

Hello,

I am seeking out a roommate. I've had several the past 3 months that did not work out so well and am hoping to find "the perfect housemate." I think it can be done!

1. I am a plastic surgeon, single straight male, and am wealthy but rather lonely. I could keep this house to myself, and have for about a year, but I've realised that life is much better when it's shared with people who are conscious (as opposed to my clients and my nursing staff!). (This is not to say that my nursing staff is unconscious - obviously they are not! It's just very difficult to become friends with a staff that is somewhat dubious of my methods. I'm no rogue, but I do have Eastern-influenced techniques that some find odd and/or disconcerting - but I do have a 99% success rate! In any case, it doesn't make much sense to mix business and pleasure.)

2. I do have a dog, Basil Ironweed (yes that is his name, people seem to be confused that I have given him a full name like a person and some kind of laugh, but I assure you I take my dog very seriously and treat him with respect, and I ask that you do the same). It would actually be ideal if you have a female dog of pure pedigree (I'd need to see the papers though, for breeding purposes) and I'd prefer her to be a medium-sized dog (I will consider most breeds except absolutely no Australian Kelpies and no American Water Spaniels, please! The colouring of the mating dogs' possible kin would be horrendous if this were the case! Also, Basil is a Border Collie in case you were wondering!) If you do not have a dog, that is also fine. All other pets will be considered except: no cats unless they are of the outdoor variety, no arthropods, and all avians must be salmonella-free, clipped toenails, and tagged.

3. My house has only a one-car garage. It used to be a two-car one, but I decided to convert half of it into a micro-personal gym as I am rather health conscious. (I do have a gym membership, but my gym is not 24-hour, and sometimes at night I really need to get on the bowflex to burn off some of my energy since I have a lot of it! Also, after meals it's inconvenient for me to run off to the gym, and that is why I need one at my disposal. The gym membership is because they have a pool there, and swimming is really good for the joints. Just in case you were wondering.) That said, you'll have to use street parking, but I assure you that my neighborhood is quiet and safe, and there is usually a spot right out in front of my house! (The only time the spot is taken is when the lunch truck comes for the construction workers that are on the corner of my street. It only sits there for about 20 minutes between 1 and 2 pm during the week, depending on how chatty the boys are that day.)

Anyways, I have a few rules that need to be followed, but other than that, we should get along fine!

I request that you listen to all music via headphones. I have mild tinnitus and the sounds from most Hi-Fi equipment sans headphones really irriate me. I am open to discussing music, but sadly we cannot directly share it as my ears can't handle rapidly changing frequencies. (If you'd like to share lyrics, I'd be more than delighted to oblige!)

If you are going to cook, please do not use the following spices: curries, paprika, anything Cajun, and dill. The smells of these things turns my stomach. (If you have any scents that you'd like to avoid, by all means let me know and I'll do you the same honour.)

You must brush your teeth at least twice a day. If there is anything I cannot stand it's filthy teeth. (Believe me, I've had a couple roommates who just could not handle this simple routine - your gingiva may not mind, but I certainly DO.)

If you are going to watch tv, please let me know in advance which programs you'd like to watch. I do have TiVo, by the by, and I have certain shows that I simply must watch when they originally air. I cannot be too flexible with this because I cannot stand to wait to see my programs. You have to understand that I simply have to watch them when they originally air or I will get a little batty. Most of my programs are on public broadcasting and do not tend to run during prime-time spots.

I do not appreciate unannounced house-guests. I need to know at least two days in advance that company is coming - I need to know the duration of the stay, and the nature of the visit. But, I am open to any and all visitors, I just need to know the specifics involved.

I have reduced rent drastically because I realise that some of my requests might seem slightly stringent. I will pay the bulk of the rent in exchange for your understanding, your commitment to the house, and your humouring of my quirks.

You must be ok with my upholstery hobby. On every third Tuesday of the month I request that you vacate the house between the hours of 4 pm - 11:45pm while I upholster various pieces of antique furniture. I am a perfectionist and require complete silence in the house. I've tried this with housemates who've promised to stay in their rooms, but this proved impossible as bathroom habits demand a regular schedule that interrupts my artisan work. That said, I will give you a small stipend on these days if it will assist you in finding something to do with that block of time.

No newspapers or magazines. The ink gets everywhere and the gloss irritates my eyes. Sorry! You are free to read them on the front porch, but they must be stored outside of the house (perhaps in your car?)

This is not to sound discriminating, but, if you speak either French, Urdu, or Afrikaans, I kindly request that you not speak them in my vicinity as the cadences used in these languages are grating to the ears and nerves, for me.

I have fresh produce delivered from an undisclosed location to my home every Wednesday afternoon. Please do not purchase fruits or vegetables and bring them home. You can request any that you desire and I will add them to my order queue. (I am fastidious about potential-GM produce and pesticide usage - I will not tolerate either!) Also, if you insist on preparing red meat dishes in the home, do cook the meat thoroughly. IT MUST SIZZLE.

No cellphone tones in my home! Please use silent mode only!

You are not to use paints in the home. The noxious odours will aggravate my allergies!

That's the summary of my requests! I do actually have a handbook which I will provide for your perusal during our interview (yes, there will be an interview for final-stage candidates) that outlines all of my more particular requests.

If you are interested, please email me the following information:

1. Name

2. Occupation

3. Age

4. Allergies

5. Favourite author

Cheers!

Oh, come on... Isn't he the perfect roommate you always wanted?


PS: I have no idea why the colour's turning out that way. I've tried changing it; it ain't working. Sorry!

"Usko humne chir diya..."

In my first year of college, I had joined one of those compulsory societies where you have to complete a certain number of hours of social service over the year in order to get your clearance to give your final exams. Some time in September, the society organized a documentary screening, for which we would all get 5 hours' credit.

The documentary screened that day was about the Godhra riots. It had interviews with victims, talking about what they went through. There was a young boy interviewed, not more than 9 or 10 years old, who spoke in a dull voice about seeing his pregnant aunt's womb slit open with a sword. I came home that night and howled in front of my father.

Today, I read a transcript of Babu Bajrangi's description of how he did exactly what I had heard about all those years ago.

Five days ago, I started a blog entry about Durga Puja. Today, I feel almost ashamed to call myself a Hindu. The first thing almost any religion in the world teaches is peace and tolerance and love. Not this. Never this.

If you haven't read the current issue of Tehelka yet, do so here.

"The family has five cars."

The Times of India always knows just which interesting trivia-l facts it should insert in its articles, dunnit?

How...

...is something like this even possible?!?

No kidding!

I am extremely impressed by this.

See, it doesn't take much to make a difference. It's just that more people need to get that into their brains.

I just hope this works out though.

[Link courtesy India Uncut]

Reading habits

Methinks the man speaketh sense.

I've never read Fear Street. I was into Sweet Valley at one point though - only Twins; tried one High, but by then I was already moving into my "Dear Lord, what's wrong with the world" mode anyway. I also read the Animorphs series; my brother and I made every effort to get as many of the 60-70 books there were in that damn series to understand what the devil was happening.

I was more into L.M. Alcott and L.M. Montgomery in my early teens; late teens brought Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer into my life. Then I came across M&Bs and my reading habits have gone for a six ever since. Sheesh.

This is my quickest and unplanned-est entry ever.

Innovation!

I tell you, people are just getting smarter and smarter...

Struck speechless...

I am astounded by the things people do.

Cheers!

Now this is the kind of news I'd like to read. Not tripe about where the sindoor used at the wedding of the decade came from, thank you.

Why can't women in India be encouraged to take classes like this?

Serendipity

Yahoo's headline at the moment is about a newlywed couple who met when the chap decided to SMS a random number floating in his head. I'll bet if Hollywood made a movie about it, it would become one of my favourites. Especially if John Cusack played the lead role.
Apparently,

A British man has met and married a 22-year-old woman after, by his own account, dreaming of her phone number and then sending her a text message.
David Brown, 24, says he woke up one morning after a night out with friends with a telephone number constantly running through his head. He decided to contact it, sending a message saying "Did I meet you last night?."
Random recipient Michelle Kitson was confused and wary at first but decided to reply and the two began exchanging messages. Eventually they met and fell in love.
"It was really weird but I was absolutely hooked," Kitson told the Daily Mail newspaper. "My mum and dad kept saying 'But he could be an axe murderer', but I knew there was something special about it."
After a long courtship, the oddly matched couple -- he's six foot seven inches tall and she's five foot four -- have just returned from their honeymoon in the Indian resort of Goa.
A love-struck Brown said: "I've no idea how I ended up with her number in my head -- it's only a few digits different from mine."

That's... sweet. Maybe I should try it.

The problem with Wikipedia

...is this.
You're telling me. I went there yesterday to look some stuff for a repost I have to write; I landed up on a page about a goddess I'd been meaning to read up on for some time!

Personally, I have my suspicions about Wikipedia. You do a search on any freaking topic in the universe, and the Wikipedia page will be there in the top five results. So I wonder if they've actually done something to make it turn out that way.
We all know it can be done. I mean, people fixed their blogs in a way so that if you typed in "miserable failure" in Google and clicked on the "I'm feeling lucky" button, you would get George W. Bush's biography in the White House website. Earlier this year, Google decided to step in and fix it so that if you try it now, you get this article instead!!!
My point is, like the BBC article says, it apparently doesn't need too many people to make a particular website top the searches. So what's to stop the Wikipedia crowd from doing so?
The only loophole that I can see in my latest conspiracy theory is this: that's an awful lot of articles they'd have to sit and fix !!!

The other problem that Wikipedia might occasionally have is its accuracy. Since pretty much anyone and everyone can create and/or edit articles there, you really don't know how accurate someof the stuff there is. I'm sure they have a staff to try and keep an eye on stuff, but when you have a site on pretty much everything open to pretty much the whole world for editing, I'm pretty darn sure there are going to be occassions incorrect stuff gets published.
Of course, that doesn't change the fact that Wikipedia is still the first place I head to whenever I need to look up something!!!

Update:
I have no idea if it's a coincidence or irony or what, but ever since I wrote this entry, Wikipedia hasn't featured in the top ten results of 90% of the searches I've done. Talk about freaky! (25/02/07)

Oh my!

As a Harry Potter fan (what, you didn't know?!?), it was but obvious that I wouldn't take kindly to this article. I'd say more, but the 197 comments already there seem to have to said it all.

I wonder if there were people who did agree with Ms. Reid but didn't dare say so considering the kind of reactions she's got?

PS: In case you're wondering, I'm working up to a couple of rants. Thank you.

Lookit that!

Whoa. Katrina did that? Imagine what the tsunami did to dozens of towns along the coasts then... Made phonebooks nonexistent perhaps.

Although a comment left by one of the visitors does make sense... It could partially be due to the fact that an increasing number of people are getting mobile phones, which are typically not listed in phonebooks. But still... dude!!!

[Link courtesy India Uncut]

Update:
The picture's been deleted from the linked page for some reason; too bad for you if you didn't visit my blog in time to see it! (13/02/07)